5 Reasons It is SO HARD to Release Our Trauma
1. We are terrified to let go of our identity. Who would we be without it? What would we talk about? How would we connect to people? "I don't know me without it" quoted from a client. Who you are is the same. YOU are still you. With or without the story of what happened to you. Read that again. It happened TO you, it is not YOU. I promise that if you heal? You will finally find the NEW YOU but more importantly? The old you that was there pre-trauma. I bet they are pretty amazing.
2. It is too hard. Hard is such a subjective word. How do we even define it!!! We have all heard the saying "It is hard to diet, it is hard to be fat.... choose your hard" While I hate that saying it can be true sometimes. I have heard many times that it is just too hard. I am functioning where I am at, is that not good enough? One thing I would ask you to look at if that is your reason is: if you were TRULY honest with yourself, what areas of your life are being harmed or hindered due to this pain... It may be more than you think
3. It is our community.... ummmm.... a relationship formed on the basis of common dysfunction or shared traumas can be VERY unhealthy. It is one thing to have sympathy or empathy for a friend in this way but if the only reason you "fit in" to a group or a friendship is because of where you are emotionally? You have a VERY strong chance of becoming stuck there. It is time to start that car!!!!! There is a saying "If you want what they have, do what they have done". This is in ALL areas of your life. Ex: don't take relationship advice from someone on divorce #3. Or mental health advice from someone who has never healed.
4. The unknown. This used to be my greatest fear. What would life look like? What would I do with all my energy? What about all that extra time? What if I could create healthy relationships? What if I didn't have to struggle all day every day? While the answer to all of these is amazing, the problem was that the life I was living still felt safer than stepping into the unknown. The unknown can be scary. But can also be the most amazing thing ever!!! Have you ever eaten something and thought "That was pretty good" and then had it again at a later date from somewhere else and thought "What the hell are those other people serving???" Think of this with your life. What about the unknown could be exciting.....
5. I don't know where to start. Start somewhere. Phone a friend and ask for a recommendation, phone a support line, go to a church and join a group, or find online support. Just start with one simple step.
P.S. Or reach out to me!!!!! I've got you. And if I am not the right fit? I have MANY other people who will be.
